How to stop fantasizing: 9 tips to get more real

Fantasizing can be described as escapism from an unpleasant real world to a more exciting and acceptable illusionary world. But if you catch yourself daydreaming more than you are living, it may be time to hit pause and learn how to stop fantasizing. Since fantasizing is just our mind’s way to drift away from reality, you must learn to deal with this habit in order to face the world with a more practical approach. With a clutter-free mind, you will be able to experience enhanced focus and better problem-solving.

Why do people fantasize?

Fantasies can occur for several reasons. A mental health disorder may be a contributing factor to fantasizing. Fantasies can also result from clinical mental diseases such as paranoid personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, or despair and anxiety. Many fantasies can also result from problems in a couple’s or family’s relationships or an individual’s infatuation with someone. Some people have anxiety, introversion, and over-thinking as innate personality qualities, which can cause over-thinking, says psychologist and psychotherapist Dr Priyanka Kapoor.

Tips to stop fantasizing

Here are some ways you can stop fantasizing, as per the expert:

1. Mindfulness

The fundamental human capacity to be totally present, aware of our surroundings and our actions and to avoid becoming too reactive or overwhelmed by them is known as mindfulness. It is about embracing our attitudes, sentiments, behaviours, and surroundings without passing judgment. There are breathing exercises, mindful eating, mindful nature or cloud viewing, and so forth. You can also execute techniques that activate all your senses and help you stay grounded like listening to music, watching a movie mindfully, eating mindfully, sniffing your favourite scent, etc.

2. Deep breathing and meditation

If one stays stressed and tends to overthink a lot, then one must implement techniques that reduce stress in the body and mind, helping one stay more calm and mindful. One can improve focus and control over the mind, body, thoughts, and emotions by practising Pranayama, meditation, and timed breathing. This can also aid in reducing excessive pondering and daydreaming, says the expert.

3. Set priorities and goals

Being focused on both your personal and professional life is equally crucial. We frequently give less significant items priority. We are not entirely sure what we want out of life. As a result, we fantasize about a lot of undesirable things. Working for your professional, personal, and life objectives will help you stop daydreaming. You can even jot down your goals and dreams to gain clarity about what aligns with you.

Also read: According to scientists, most of us spend half of our lives daydreaming

4. Making decisions in relationships

We frequently lack clarity when it comes to relationships, which can also result in fantasies. When one is infatuated with someone, this occurs more frequently. People tend to make up their own narratives when there is a lack of clarity. Because it creates the impression of being genuine in the time and releases dopamine and serotonin into the body, fantasizing about the person also makes one feel happy. Fantasizing naturally decreases after a person decides what to do next in their relationship—to move on, end it, or stay together, says the expert.

5. Journaling

Writing down our ideas is also aided by journaling and thought journals. Fantasizing is nothing more than self-deception. This means that even if they are aware that they are doing it and feel ashamed of it, they somehow manage to convince themselves that it is not “real” because it is all just in their heads. But when you actually put pen to paper and record your maladaptive daydreams, they are momentarily expelled from your head and brought into reality. Crucially, you never have to show what you’ve written to anyone. It’s not even necessary to write in a diary or journal where others might see it! You may just set aside twenty minutes of your day, find a peaceful place to sit, and start jotting down your daydreams on some old scrap paper, reckons the expert.

Also read: Benefits of journaling: 9 reasons why you should keep a journal

6. Pursue your hobbies

If you use fantasizing to escape the boredom of your life, it might be your cue to start pursuing a hobby to give a creative vent to your inner clutter. It could be anything like gardening, journaling, creative writing or painting that helps you stay more focused and under control. If you are adventure-driven, then pursuing sports or activities like rock climbing can also add some spice to your life.

7. Tweak your routine

You might notice that fantasizing increases a lot when you are performing mindless tasks like doing the dishes. Rather than adhering to the same old and bland routine, consider doing a lifestyle makeover. Instead of doing the same things every day in the same order, try mixing things up. This will make your day more exciting while helping your mind gain more attention and focus. For instance, if cleaning is the first thing you do in the morning, try doing it in the afternoon and meditate or exercise first before you head for the day.

8. Accept the truth

Accept truth as it is because it is critical to comprehend reality. Fantasizing is essentially overanalyzing and entering an illogical dream world. So, realizing the truth about your problems will enable you to look in the mirror and provide useful remedies for yourself. When you step out of your dream world, you come face-to-face with reality, and you will be able to deal with your actual life equipped with the right mindset.

9. Therapy

Irrational expectations and cognitive patterns can lead to anxiety, sadness, mental health illnesses, and other emotional problems. These can then create fantasizing, which calls for therapy. When it comes to coping with imagining, psychotherapy is unquestionably very helpful. Therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy can help get to the root cause of the functioning of your mind and help you learn how to control it and stop fantasizing.